Before we deal extensively with this topic of cheating in marriage and relationships, it would be better if we really ask ourselves some key questions:
- What is Cheating?
- Why do people cheat in Marriage or Relationships?
- What are the after-effects of Cheating?
If we are able to sincerely answer these Questions within ourselves and thoroughly analyse these things without prejudice, it then means we could now be able to state categorically between men and women who cheat most.
What is Cheating?
Cheating is the receiving of a reward for the ability to find an easy way out of an unpleasant situation by dishonest means.
It is generally used for breaking of rules to gain an unfair advantage in a competitive situation.
But if we define cheating based on marriage it simply means infidelity, adultery or engaging in any sexual contact with non-partner (including hugging, kissing, caressing, oral sex, and phone sex) and this can violate trust.
Why do People cheat in Marriage?
As funny as this question may sound, some people would say is there any genuine reason for cheating in marriage, and the honest answer is NO!
But I believe that in everything that happens in this life there must be a reason for it either knowingly or unknowingly.
The more I try to analyse cheating in other aspects, I still find myself dwelling more on cheating in marriages and for this reason, we have to focus more on cheating in marriage.
Cheating in Marriage
Listed below are some of the reasons I feel people cheat in marriages:
- Lack of sexual satisfaction in your primary relationship: This was the most common reason cited by individuals in the Omarzu study. Recall that the large majority of the sample were women. Both women and men who enter into affairs are hoping to improve their sexual lives. They may enjoy many other mutual activities but, for whatever reason, the sex is not working out for them.
- The desire for the additional sexual encounter: This was a relatively infrequent reason cited by the individuals in this study. It’s possible that more people had this as a reason but didn’t want to admit to it, as it is not a very socially desirable wish to articulate. For example, one man in the study stated that he felt he needed more sex in his life to reward him for performing well at his job.
- Lack of emotional satisfaction in your primary relationship: Seeking emotional intimacy can be nearly as compelling a reason to have an affair as can seeking physical intimacy. Participants who stated the need for emotional closeness in an affair felt they were lacking a connection to their primary partners.
- Wanting emotional validation from someone else: Being appreciated is a key factor in the emotional connection that partners feel toward each other. Partners may grow apart and, as they do, fail to acknowledge the needs that both have in their relationship.
- Falling out of love with your partner: This was a relatively insignificant reason in the Omarzu study, perhaps because “love” is so difficult to define. In the grand scheme of things, having sexual and emotional intimacy seems to trump love.
- Falling in love with someone new: Very few people indicated that they had fallen head over heels for the person with whom they had the affair. Again, emotional intimacy plus sexual closeness seems to be a more important factor that leads partners to stray.
- Your wanting revenge: In a relationship that is already suffering, the desire to hurt a partner who is (or is perceived as) cheating seems to raise the stakes significantly from mere lack of intimacy.
- Being curious and want new experience: People who cited this reason felt that they wanted something new, this motivation went beyond curiosity and into some type of contest to measure their sexual prowess. It might have been less complicated for them to compete on the tennis court or golf course, but the allure of someone and something new led them to choose this particular form of challenge.
What are the after-effects of cheating in Marriage?
A saying goes that ‘every day is for the thief but one day is for the owner of the house‘.
There is always a payback time and there is always nemesis that comes after.
When cheating in marriage occurs, three things could happen after a couple has realised their mistakes in terms of cheating on each other:
- Trust issues: It will be difficult for your spouse to trust you again. Trust is an integral part of marriage. Once broken, it is difficult to mend the pieces back the way they were before. Even if your marriage ends and he or she enters into another relationship, he or she may also continue to have trust issues. So the damage continues long after you have been gone.
- Roller Coaster of Emotions: Your spouse will go through emotional turmoil. He or she may feel like crying now, and then feel angry afterwards. Your spouse may blame you today, and then blame himself or herself tomorrow. This is a normal reaction to marital infidelity. However, if these emotions are not managed correctly, it can lead to serious problems for your spouse and ultimately to your marriage.
- Damage to Self Esteem: Your spouse will start questioning his or her self-worth and have thoughts of “Where did I go wrong?” or “What’s wrong with me?” Like children of divorcees blaming themselves for what happened to their parents, victims of marital infidelity often respond to cheating by blaming themselves too.
Please remember that the effect of cheating in marriage is like a stigma that can last for the rest of the marriage.
- What do you think are the reasons why men and women cheat in Marriages?
- Have you come across any marriage that has been dealt a blow by a cheating spouse?
- How do you think that Spouses can make up after discovering that their is cheating in their marriage?
Please let me hear your opinion on this.
Kindly drop a comment below.