What would you do if you found out that your supposed husband is not man enough for you? How would you treat a man who has constantly shown you that he is not man enough to shoulder his responsibilities?
The story you are about to hear is quite depressing,m if you look at it from different perspectives. But then love can make you mad and before you realise it, you are down to the point that you now notice that that man that has been pulling your heart into the Streets of love is no more man enough for you.
She has written in to ask for help and advise about the father of her three sons. As at the time they met (which is about years ago), he was a struggling young man, who desired to have her as a wife. And because they are from different ethnic groups, the costs of the marriage rites that her people presented to him were beyond his capacity.
So they resolved to be living as man and woman (while putting their incomes together for the Traditional Marriage rites) until they are ready… This was, however, against her LATE father’s advice. He, the late father, saw “through” the man.
She is the eldest child of her parents. Ten years down the line and after three children (all boys) for her “husband”, all she gets from him whenever she mentions the issue of his performing some traditional rites on her head is “GIVE ME SOME TIME”.
Now the problem is that another lady has taken in for her “husband”. The “husband” has told her that the lady insists she won’t terminate the pregnancy and she is also moving in with them as a second wife.
Her “husband” said he cannot stop the lady from moving in with them because that might make him incur the wrath of the lady’s father who is a high chief in their place and also his benefactor… The man has been responsible for the contracts that come his way.
However, her “husband” has given her the option of staying back. He claims that the new development will not affect her position in the house.
She said that she feels suicidal right now. She feels used because this was the same thing that her father warned her against before his death. She wonders where she is going to start from… The economic situation of things back home is not encouraging either and her sons are still very young.
Knowing her husband, if she leaves with her son, he will never bother about their welfare again. And staying back while his new woman moves in, will depress her.
She has asked you to look into this matter and advise her. She is 38 years old and an Admin Assistant at a Local Government Council.
Post by Chukwuneta Oby